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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28724739">i could pack my bags and be gone before you wake.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimson_hue/pseuds/crimson_hue'>crimson_hue</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>minecraft men are taking over my life [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Good Friend Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), I'm Bad At Tagging, Letters, Running Away, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:41:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,358</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28724739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimson_hue/pseuds/crimson_hue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tubbo_ is a boy playing dressup.<br/>He has no family, no friends, and no need to stay. Why be a president for something that is not your home?</p><p>So he leaves.</p><p>(title from la jolla, by wilbur soot)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>no!! - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>minecraft men are taking over my life [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2080929</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>229</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i could pack my bags and be gone before you wake.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So this is different writing style!! I wanted to try something out. I am going to update "tell me again" so don't worry!!!</p><p>if you're new, you can also check out my other fics! and understand in advance, i am a tubbo apologist first, human second.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>(L'Manburg, Before.)<br/>
Tubbo watches passively as Quackity and Karl walk along the wooden paths of a nation he can't fight for anymore. </p><p>He's tired. </p><p>Taking off the presidential outfit, he slips food into his bag and a disc. The green shirt feels like release, the blue jeans remind him of a time when he could laugh. </p><p>There's the sound of a door closing.<br/>
Now, he opens his window and leaves. </p><p>No note, no letter, no message. </p><p>Tubbo is tired, he is a child.<br/>
Those who he thought were family are gone and he's not sure if it's his fault or theirs.</p><p> </p><p>(Nowhere, Two Hours After The Disappearance Of Tubbo_) </p><p>It's not long before he's in the wintery cold of Technoblade's home. He leaves the disc outside the door. </p><p>"Tubbo?" The ghost says, hovering around a blue sheep. The boy looks over, and gives a tired smile. </p><p>Two ghosts stand on deck, one a ghost of a past and the other a ghost of a child. </p><p>He leaves, ignoring Wilbur's calls. It feels like swallowing glass, but he needs this. </p><p>He needs to leave before he turns into a real ghost too.</p><p> </p><p>Dream starts walking with him before he gets to the edge of the SMP. </p><p>They don't speak. There's a finality in the air, a feeling of goodbye. Tubbo doesn't give the man a glance. </p><p>"...Did you have fun?" The god asks, as they stand before a border. No one's been out this far. This is goodbye. </p><p>Tubbo looks at Dream. Really looks. He searches for the friend he used to have and finds him buried under secrets and betrayal. </p><p>He nods. "Thank you, for giving me the chance to be happy." Tears threaten to fall but they don't get the chance too.<br/>
Tubbo gives a salute, and walks out of the Dream SMP.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(L'Manburg, Five Hours After The Disappearance Of Tubbo_) </p><p>Ranboo teleports from one place to another. Eventually, he ends up startling Fundy after he appears infront of the man. </p><p>"Ranboo! Holy shit- don't do that, maybe?" The man shouts, nearly dropping his papers. </p><p>The half enderman rubs at the back of his neck. "Sorry, Foreman Fundy!" It doesn't escape his notice how Fundy straightens up at that. "But I can't find Tubbo anywhere. He really quiet at yesterday's meeting, I wanted to check in." </p><p>The fox nods, looking at his papers. "There weren't any meetings today, so he should be at the White House. Usually he's doing paperwork." </p><p>Ranboo shakes his head. "Already checked there, I'm afraid." </p><p>That's odd. Since the exile, Tubbo's really only done paperwork. Maybe he'll go away to help Sam or Jack with something they need, but otherwise stays in L'manburg. </p><p>Fundy can't remember the last time he saw the boy leave the White House. "Maybe he's tending to his bees?" He tries. Ranboo shakes his head. </p><p>They hear Quackity and Karl talking, and the two pairs meet up in the center. </p><p>"Well, well, well! If it isn't the two other members of the cabinet! What can I do for you?" Quackity says, throwing an arm around Fundy's shoulder. </p><p>No one tries that with Ranboo, the kid's too tall. "We're trying to find Tubbo, he's missing." </p><p>Karl laughs. "Give that kid a break! Maybe it's good he's lost and unprotected and alone when-" Karl's face turns slowly horrified. </p><p>"Oh god, what if he's been kidnapped?" The man says, genuinely worried. Fundy and Ranboo look at each other with equal concern. </p><p>Quackity looks confused too. "He never said he was going anywhere to me. He usually checks in with me before doing anything." The duck hybrid says, before pulling up his screen. </p><p>They private message Tubbo. All of them wait for a response, only for nothing. </p><p>"We need to calm down, the kid could be being rebellious for once!" Quackity awkwardly chuckles, after ten minutes. They don't want to alert any enemies on the server that their president is unaccounted for, that's just asking for him to be kidnapped. </p><p>They wait. </p><p>(L'Manburg, One Day After the Disappearance of Tubbo_) </p><p>They're panicking. Contacting Sam and Jack, the two reveal that Tubbo hasn't contacted them. </p><p>They contact Eret, Niki, and even Puffy. None of them have any idea where the president is. </p><p>They hesitantly send a letter to Dream.<br/>
They get no response. </p><p>There's a silence in the air that wasn't there before. </p><p>L'Manburg continues. </p><p>"Tubbo, our dear president, is gone. Missing. In wake of his absence, I, vice president Quackity will take over the chair of presidency." </p><p>They grieve.<br/>
They continue on, a memorial for a boy who was never found. </p><p>Ranboo wonders if they ever looked.</p><p> </p><p>(President Quackity, letter to Vice President Fundy.)<br/>
In all fair honesty, there was a time when I wanted Tubbo gone. Does that make me a monster? </p><p>Do you remember when Tommy and him used to run along the streets, laughing? How they would run past you, or bump into you and Tommy would keep running, and Tubbo would apologize, but keep chasing? </p><p>I wonder if got tired of chasing, of apologizing. Or if someone made him stop, forever. </p><p>I wonder if we made him stop, Fundy. If there is no one else to blame but us. We put a child infront of a crater and told him to fix it. </p><p>There was no murderer, kidnapper, or whatever. We killed that boy, Fundy. Us and the rest of this damn nation. </p><p>Your President,<br/>
Quackity. </p><p> </p><p>(Nowhere, Five Hours After the Disappearance of Tubbo_)<br/>
When Phil arrives home, he sees Wilbur on the edge of the deck. Rushing forward, he tries to push him back under the awning but instead goes through him. </p><p>Damn it. </p><p>"Wilbur, get under the awning, we both know what snow does to you," </p><p>His son obeys, but still looks in the same direction. "Tubbo was just here, Phil!" He says, a smile on his face. </p><p>This puts him on red alert, and he starts to head inside when he finds a disc laying infront of the door. </p><p>There's no message, but he knows what it is, it's been described to him so many times. </p><p>He looks to Wilbur. </p><p>"Tubbo left it there! Then he just- left! I was going to offer him some blue because he looked so sad, but then he gave me a smile and walked away, Phil." He floats over to the man, and looks back to where he assumes Tubbo headed off too. </p><p>It's in the opposite direction of the SMP, of L'Manburg. </p><p>Phil picks up the disc, and realizes he just lost another son that he never knew he had.</p><p> </p><p>(Foreman Ranboo, in Memory Book.)<br/>
Tubbo: a good friend.<br/>
You can't forget him, he's very important.<br/>
He's the president.<br/>
He's sad, so try to cheer him up. </p><p>He's silly.<br/>
He's a friend. </p><p>He's missing.<br/>
He'll come back.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't come back. Did he say something to me before he left? Did I forget?<br/>
I can't forget him, memories are all that are left.</p><p> </p><p>(One Week After the Disappearance of Tubbo_)<br/>
Dream declares Tommy unbanished.<br/>
It's the worst thing he's ever done. </p><p>"You bastard Dream, I know you did something to him," </p><p>"Tommy." </p><p>"You fucking killed him didn't you! You bitch, you bastard, I'll kill you myself!" </p><p>The teenager raises his sword and Dream does nothing. </p><p>"He's gone, Tommy. There's no reason for us to fight anymore, he's not coming back."<br/>
Dream says, his voice tired. He feels tired more often now. When he imagined beating the two boys, he imagined a great battle. He envisioned a battlefield destroyed, with Tubbo and Tommy not sparing a single hit. </p><p>He envisioned beating them and winning. Dream envisioned his perfect family being back, with the destruction of their teenage rebellion. He'd help them up and the happy feeling on the SMP would be back. </p><p>He didn't envision walking next to Tubbo, and watching him leave the SMP. </p><p>That wasn't a log off, it was Tubbo's final goodbye. </p><p>He's not coming back, is he? </p><p>Dream watches at Tommy keeps slashing, fighting even as Philza pulls him away. Technoblade watches from behind.<br/>
Dream wanted to go down in history.<br/>
Now he's not sure if it was worth all this. </p><p>(Quackity, The Festival Announcement)<br/>
"For this wonderful nation, New L'manburg! </p><p>For our wayward son, Tubbo. May he come home in full health, and happiness. </p><p>Celebrate for all these things! May we last forever!" </p><p>(Ranboo, in letter to Tommyinnit.) </p><p>"They talk about him as if he's dead. As if he's some kind of political puppet. Would Tubbo want this, would Tubbo want that, it's disgusting. </p><p>I'm starting to think that's why he left. </p><p>Tommy, hasn't he ever messaged you? Talked to you? Surely he had to have said something, right?"</p><p> </p><p>(Tommyinnit, after the official opening of the Presidential Memorial) </p><p>"To my friend, Tubbo. The best president that L'Manburg will ever had. I'll do what he never had the chance to do. </p><p>I'm finishing our unfinished symphony. </p><p>It was never meant to be."</p><p> </p><p>(Snowchester, Three Months After.)<br/>
Ranboo stares at the dead boy walking. </p><p>"I suppose I have a lot to answer, right?" Ranboo doesn't recognize the voice, but he knows. </p><p>He remembers the soft smile, the light laugh. Now that smile is back, and the feeling of laughter is in the air again in this small town, with no government. </p><p>"Hey, Tobias." This gets him a laugh, one that's wheezing and unweighted. </p><p>"That's- is that what they call me now? Tobias? That's so stupid!" </p><p>Ranboo smiles, and he feels so light that it hurts. "Yeah, yeah it is isn't it?" </p><p>The two teenagers make eye contact, and for once the enderman hybrid doesn't feel an ancient rage flow into him. He feels safe, in this town made out of cottages. </p><p>The boy hasn't changed. He just seems younger. He looks around, the light energy starting to fade. </p><p>"Is anyone...?" Ranboo shakes his head. </p><p>"I'm alone." There's an unsaid, 'your secret is safe.' </p><p>The teenager gives him a smile. "Then let me show you around!" </p><p>There's a million things Ranboo should say. Tell him of the crater that is L'Manburg, tell him about Tommy and Phil, who never stopped looking. </p><p>Tell him of the people who need a leader who's unbiased back, how people still look to him to lead, still searching for him if only to drag him back. </p><p>Instead, Ranboo chases after the boy, hearing about a brilliant town with no government. A safe haven that no one can get involved with because it belongs to no one. </p><p>It's a home. </p><p>(Niki, in letter to King Eret of the Dream SMP)<br/>
"On these sunny days, I can still hear laughing. </p><p>It mixes with Tommy's and Wilbur's, but it's clear. </p><p>The high melody of a boy who left. </p><p>Is it wrong to feel envy? He knew that L'Manburg was doomed, and he just. Went away. </p><p>I feel so proud of him. He left Tommy, he left this curse, and he left me. I don't hate him for it- he knew that so long as Tommy and his brothers were around, they'd bring chaos. </p><p>If he was willing to leave his own family, shouldn't I have the courage to leave too? Eret, abandon your throne. Leave while we can. </p><p>I hear there's a town, far away from the SMP. We can go there. </p><p>It's called Snowchester. Ranboo, despite me being so angry at him when we last talked invited me. </p><p>I'm leaving. My question is, are you coming?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Nowhere, Five Months After.)<br/>
Phil looks at his wonderful family. They're celebrating, and today is one of the easier days. </p><p>There's a disc hung up on the wall of their ever expanding cabin. Right now, their waiting on Ranboo. </p><p>Ranboo, and his friend that he's bringing along. He all but begged to be allowed to bring this stranger along, and Technoblade had finally caved. </p><p>Tommy and Technoblade argue about how to properly cut cake. Wilbur floats around Fundy, who they practically forced to come along despite bad blood. </p><p>There's a thin tension that forms on bad days, but it's gone today. </p><p>It's just clear skies and laughing. Fundy let's himself full body laugh, shoulders shaking. </p><p>Phil holds back tears. He feels so old watching his children sometimes. </p><p>He looks to the framed photo. It's older, and the edges are frayed. They had found in the remains of the White House, where his room has been. </p><p>It's all five them. Phil, Wilbur, Technoblade, Tommy, and. </p><p>Tubbo smiling, having been slightly taller than Tommy at the time. He can remember taking the photo, the laughter at how awkward it had all felt. </p><p>Next to the photo is a more recent one, with all of them. Yet, Tubbo is absent. </p><p>It includes more people, this time. More people in their impromptu family. </p><p>There's a knock at the door. "I'll get it!" Tommy shouts, happy to greet what he's assuming is Ranboo. </p><p>The door opens, and just like expected, it's the tall boy. There's a way shorter figure, bundled up. Ranboo quickly comes in, while the stranger shakes off an umbrella with snow on it. </p><p>"Sorry! We'd have been here sooner, but someone worried too much." </p><p>The stranger closes the umbrella and steps inside. "You're just not careful enough! What if your hat had blown off?" His voice is painfully reminiscent. </p><p>The kid takes off his scarf and his sun hat. Burn scars and blue eyes, and brown hair falls into his face. </p><p>Tommy drops something, and the room goes silent. Ranboo steps aside, a smile on his face. </p><p>He's wearing a green sweater. Blue jeans paired with snowboats. There's a bee sewn in above his heart. </p><p>Phil's boy looks painfully younger, as if some great weight was lifted off his shoulders. Tubbo, with his pink cheeks and nervous smile looks around. </p><p>"Hey. Sorry about not leaving a note." He says, and before Phil can blink, Tommy has practically tackled the boy. There's laughter. </p><p>There's things to address, and hurt feelings to talk about, but as he hears Tommy's happy cries and the way he clutches at the boy's shirt, there's a sudden rush of peace. </p><p>His family is back under his wing.</p>
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